
Since 2002, my university has only closed on account of severe winter weather on four occasions. Today was one of those occasions! This is a good thing because I hadn’t read the paper that we were going to discuss in lab meeting today, but this is also a bad thing because I haven’t met with my advisor in about a week, and I can’t make any progress on my research manuscripts until I discuss my results with him. I was supposed to hop on the manuscript bandwagon immediately after the conference at the beginning of the month, but I really have next to nothing to show for myself for the month of January. I presented at two conferences, but I’ve made basically zero progress on the data.
In my defense, there’s a lot that has gotten in the way. I was diagnosed with a severe anxiety reaction around Christmas, and I’ve been dealing with elevated levels of anxiety ever since then. This has resulted in a lot of days where I’m too anxious to leave the house. I’m working with my doctor on this, and I have some medications I’m trying out, but I really just need to be patient with myself for a while. If I push myself too hard, I have a panic attack and wind up having to start all over again with the recovery. I also had to get a part time job since my father has severely cut back my financial support (since I’m technically no longer a student until I start grad school officially in the fall). I can’t fault him for that in theory, but it has made me pretty grumpy and depressed, especially since my anxiety really limits the number of hours I can work. The two of these things combined are eating up about 90% of my time.
I have a meeting with my advisor tomorrow morning. I suppose I should get started churning some numbers so I can get to sleep at a semi-reasonable hour and not show up empty-handed.